Valentine
by Aerandirien
Summary: Hmm... How about a short about why Severus Snape loathes Valentine's Day? Sound good? I thought so.


Valentine

A/N: A story of love lost and love never forgotten. Over Valentine's day I was bored, so you get this, a newly revamped story with a lot of angst and other fun stuff, like Snape drinking himself into a stupor. The original version called for them to get back together, but I've decided that I much like the idea of Snape being depressed much better. I might if enough people ask for it, write Noel's pov and explain why she does what she does. But that's up to you guys. 

Moony

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~ Saint Valentine's Day ~ 15 years ago ~

"You betrayed me." The black robed figure said, still stunned beyond belief. The young dark-haired woman standing before him in her blood red robes stepped back slowly.

"I did nothing of the sort." She continued to step back as he advanced on her, a wolf stalking his prey.

"You talked to Dumbledore. You told him what I am. How do you count that my lady?" He said, sarcastically stressing the words my lady, his dark eyes gazing at her accusingly.

"Of course I did." That fact, she openly admitted. "You're dying Sev. What am I supposed to do? Watch you die?" Panic showed in the warm violet depths of her eyes. "Dear Merlin Sev, I love you." This passionate declaration was met with devilishly cold laughter.

"Is that what you call it? I'd call it trying to kill me." Her head was bowed in defeat, she knew now that to save him was to lose him. She'd lost him completely tonight. But she would not cry, she thought fiercely, no she wouldn't let him see her cry.

"And so loving you is a crime now? Wanting you to live is a crime?" She asked, the prey turning predator.

"It's none of your business. I wanted to die!" he said with conviction.

"None of my business?" She asked with a great deal of confusion and hurt in her voice. "None of my business? No Sev, it's not my business, I'm just your wife." She broke down. "And I can't do it anymore, I can't. Severus, I can't watch you do this anymore. Watch you kill yourself so slowly. Don't ask me to do this."

"Then don't." he all but snarled. "Leave now, the sight of such perfidy disgusts me." She looked up; her violet eyes filled with unshed tears.

And for the first time in his memory, she listened to him. She walked out of his life without a word, without a trace. And Severus Snape stood unsteadily from the shock of it all. 

The shock mind you, he'd never really expected her to leave, the annoyingly loyal Gryffindor like creature that she was. It was his favorite thing about her that no matter what he did; she'd still stand beside him. Well now, she wasn't, and it was for sure he'd never see her again.

**** Present Day **** Hogwarts **** 7 at night ****

Severus Snape was doing what he always did on Valentine's day, reliving the day he made that single fatal mistake, when he said those words that he'd regretted for what seemed like a lifetime now. He knew he was a sour, dour old man at 36, and that he'd be an even sourer, dourer old man at 76. 

Everything he was now, was created that night. The darkness that seemed to feed of off him in a tireless, never ending cycle, the snappy, hurtful, snippy words that rolled off his tongue. His pain fed that fire inside him like no other emotion ever could or ever would. 

He sat in his gloomy, dark and dank apartments in the dungeons of Hogwarts, swirling the amber liquid in the sparkling tumbler in his hand. Even good old scotch didn't do anything anymore; it reminded him of how her hair looked in the firelight the night of their wedding. He couldn't drink red wine; she'd loved the stuff, crazy American that she was. 

They'd met one cold clear morning outside of Flourish and Blotts, not long after he'd graduated Hogwarts. She was in London for the week, looking for hard to find charms books and he was looking for a particular book on Fire Flower properties for potions. She'd just graduated from Salem herself, and was on holiday before going off to university. She'd been in a hurry that morning and they'd found both of the items they were looking for, he knew the bookstore inside and out, and she was good at finding books.

Severus Snape took another drink from his glass, and shuddered. He knew it was no good to think about the past. But he continued anyway.

He'd been 19; 2 years out of Hogwarts, just newly joined with the dark lord. She was the daughter of a pair of cold and old-fashioned Americans, descended of an old Romanian wizarding family that practiced the dark arts with a skill even beyond that of the Malfoys. She'd never seen dark magic in her lifetime; the skills had died out on the American side of the family. Too risky, he still thought, for them to be practicing such arts in such a place. 

It was evening now, and he shivered slightly, wishing he had remembered to stoke the fire before it had gone out. He pulled out his wand and cast the spell. He hated charms and had ever since he'd lost her to his own stupidity. She was good at charms and probably would have taken over for Flitwick a long time ago, had she still been here. They were still married, but he'd never found her, fairly certain that she'd changed her name and was living somewhere where he'd never find her. His plans for tonight were simple: to get completely foxed and forget, if only for an evening. 

*** 1 hour later *** 

Severus picked up the decanter and poured more scotch into his glass. He raised it in silent toast and thought of her again. _Noel_, he thought, _why won't you let me find you?_

He'd tried again and again, and never had he found anything about her. No one had heard of a Noel with long black hair and violet eyes. Much less one that used the last name of Snape, a name still shuddered over, for the past history of dark arts in the family. Severus knew that he, himself, didn't help the rumors.

They thought she'd killed herself, not that she'd left him. Or that he'd killed her, that was why Dumbledore wouldn't let him be the Defense teacher, a job Severus both wanted and knew he'd be good at. Dumbledore couldn't chance upsetting the parents anymore and Severus tried to understand that. But it was hard. 

He stood up and silently walked over to a small cabinet next to the door to his bedroom, glass in hand. Unicorns, dragons, and phoenixes graced the top of the cabinet. No snakes in his rooms, only the remains of a life now forbidden to him. The figurines belonged to Noel, his wife of some 16 years, a wife he hadn't seen in 15, and was certain never to see again. This was his reminder, a cabinet that she had cherished and one that he hadn't touched in 14 years. The upstairs master bedroom of his family estate being another place where Noel reigned in his mind, another place to stay away from. 

He knelt down and opened the doors, pulling out an album. He walked back to his chair and sat down and began looking at the pictures of a life lost to the past, scotch glass in hand. 

**** 3 hours later **** 10 at night ****

Severus looked at the empty decanter and sighed. All that work and he still wasn't drunk. It was just getting harder and harder for him to drink himself into a stupor. The photo album sat on his lap, a reminder that he still wasn't done reliving his biggest mistake. He was also expecting another report from the private inspector. 

He hired one every year as a lost hope that she might yet be found. He took a last drink from his glass and looked at the last picture in the album. It was of Noel, holding something in her hands, the blur was over the item and he couldn't tell what it was. He always tried to, he rather thought it might be a clue as to where she went. 

Someone knocked on his door; he got up and went to open it. He expected that it would be Dumbledore, who came by every year to make sure that his potions master was still alive, if not sober. He opened the door.

It wasn't Dumbledore. It was the private inspector. 

"Hello Professor, I've some news for you." Severus perked up immediately, something had been found. "I'm not sure if its good news or bad news, but I've found her."

That's where the man paused. "Well? Go on, where?"

"In Romania, with her family. Lady Dracula the locals call her, for her dark ways." Severus closed his eyes, _she had turned to her family_, he thought, _turned to the dark arts in her pain._

"And? What about her dark 'ways' as you call them." His eyes narrowed painfully. 

"She is considered to be the equal of the dark Greek witch Hera, who once caused a Great War because of her jealousy of Helen, queen of Troy." Severus took a deep breath, _I pushed her to this_, he thought, _I did this, I made her decide to seek her family when she could no longer count on me_. A family that was darker than anything even Voldemort could come up with.

Descended from Vlad Dracula himself, the family, the Dracules, as they liked to be known, were famous for the terrible acts of the females members of the family against other women and occasionally their husbands. No man ever mistreated a Dracule woman, ever; he might find himself pushed into a similar position by her or her family. 

The blood feuds were worse, if you can believe that possible. Among those of the 'blood', the feuds were well known and lasted forever. You could not gain back the trust of the family, or even respect. Not that it was thought that they even knew what respect was. They were considered filthy by many of the more underground dark families. The Dracules were just bold and open about their ways, thinking it dishonorable to lie to their adversaries.

"Professor?" the man asked. "There's more. I was given a letter to give to you." He handed the letter to Severus. "It's from the Matron of the Dracules, I'll just take my leave now." The man disappeared, not wanting to be there when the letter was read.

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Dear Professor Severus Snape,

The Lady Noel Dracule has no memory of the life of Noel Siria Snape. I expect that you will not bother her and force her to suffer further by continuing to attempt to contact her. The woman that exists today is not the same neurotic little girl that you married. Forget that you were ever married. My dear professor, I tire of ignoring your letters and your men. If I must, I will call the Family in on this matter, I would prefer not to. Further more, I tire of sending off your little men with a bribe. I strongly suggest that you forget that you ever knew Noel Siria Snape.

Cordially,

Josephine Dracule

He crumpled the letter in his hand. _Not the same woman, not the same woman._ _How could someone change so much that they didn't even remember the person that they were married to? Dear Merlin, she was a mistress of the dark arts. _What had happened to the charms mistress he had known? He couldn't answer the question.

A second note stuck out of the envelope, Sev was written on the paper in an elegant, but messy hand, as if there had been a need to hurry in the mind of the writer. Severus pulled it out and flipped the paper open.

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Dearest Sev,

I know that you have read Josephine's letter and that you are angry. With her and with me. Sev, I have to ask you to let me go, let me live my life without worrying that you're looking over my shoulder. I've moved on, and past that girl I was, the one that you knew. 

What I am now, is by my own choice. Sev, it is not your fault that I went into the dark arts, I tell you that now. I am a Dracule, a daughter of Dracula and there are certain honors and duties that one must live up to, this is my duty. What else can I be? 

Please understand that I took the path less traveled by, and it has made a difference. I can use the dark arts for the good that is in me, I can help here. It is where I belong. We are not afraid of your Lord Voldemort, we are Dracules. And our powers are beyond even his mind's capabilities. 

Sev, let me go. It is time to forget this childish dream, the magic is gone. Let me go, you have your students now and I have my people. Love is, but a foolish dream that all once dreamed. It is not needed for a life. Sev, it is over and done with. Let this dream be shattered like glass. It is done.

Her Ladyship,

Noel Siria Erin Dracule

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She doesn't even use my name anymore, Severus thought. He felt like his heart had been finally shattered after years upon years of dropping. _She really wasn't coming back_, she was over him. He thought that she had once said that she'd never leave him, not even in spirit. 

He'd been waiting to find her for years, to explain that he was wrong and that he was sorry for his actions of the past. That he really couldn't blame her for voicing his beliefs and feelings to Dumbledore, when he, himself, wasn't willing to chance going against Voldemort, for it might have meant her life.

Now, he'd never get that chance, he'd never be able to tell her that he was wrong, that she was right. That he loved her and missed her and that he wanted her back. All he had left was the sorrow and the pain and the blame. He didn't even have the hope that he had had before. He had nothing left, nothing at all; not even hope. 

He took a look at the empty tumbler in his hand, the few drops of light amber left glittered in the firelight; he looked at the letter in his other hand. The deep green ink stared back at him, and he crumbled up the paper and threw it into the fire. He loved her still. 

He would never be free. He loved her still. 

~ Fin ~


End file.
